Overcoming Hardships in OT School: Failing In Order to Win

Niccole Rowe, COTA/L

Failure. Even just reading that word brings up a roil of emotions and situations for most of us. We begin to think about those times we made a mistake or we failed at something we attempted. Often times, those thoughts bring the same stomach-churning regret as if we had just committed the misstep instead of it happening in the past. There is often anger, regret, and shame at the situation, at ourselves, and even sometimes at others who were involved. These emotions and thoughts leave us drained and saddened, and often weaken our resolve toward what we wanted to accomplish in the first place.

But what if I told you that more often than not, messing up big time is when you grow and learn the most about yourself? Or even about what you were attempting when you failed?

Kerri was excited to begin a new journey into pursuing an occupational therapy career that she hoped would give her a job she was excited about as well as better pay. But in the second semester of her OTA program, she hit a major bump in her plans. She failed her neurology course, which meant that she could not continue in her program with her classmates.

Just 10 days out from her wedding, Kerri was upset and felt like she failed even more than just her class. “That was one of the hardest things I have ever faced. I felt like I failed myself,” Kerri said. She went through a roller coaster of emotions when she found out about her grade. She related that she went through the stages of grief as she came to terms with her failure.

But she knew that it wasn’t going to be the end of her journey. “I wasn’t going to give up,” Kerri said. “I was determined to get back in.” Kerri pursued the readmissions process, which made her take a look at what would need to change for her to be more successful if she was able to return and try again. Kerri was reaccepted into the program and used what she had learned from her failure to make those changes. “It made me the student I never had been before,” she said. “I had never put myself through making something a priority like I made school after that.”

Kerri went on to finish the program and pass the NBCOT exam, and she has been a practicing COTA for more than 2 years now.

Many times, it is too easy to let failure be only a negative force in our learning process. We linger over the negative feelings and focus on what we messed up. We become afraid to try again or to put ourselves out into a situation where we might not be seen as perfect. But, failure can be an amazing tool. Failure pushes you to face what doesn’t work or what needs strengthening. It is a catalyst for an investigation of yourself that allows you to then focus on the weakness that caused things to unravel.

Kerri went on to have success only because she was able to step back and learn from where she went wrong. She also was able to process her negative emotions surrounding failing her course.

It isn’t easy to wade through all of those messy thoughts and emotions. Here are some thoughts to help you change your mindset and move towards the positive aspects of failing:

• Go back and remember your motivation for trying whatever it was that you failed at. Close your eyes and recall the excitement or the determination that you felt then. Use that to reaffirm your desire to try again.
•  Reach out to your support system. Kerri used the love and support of her fiancée. He helped remind her not only of her motivation, but also of all of her strengths and abilities.
• Have an attitude for success. Direct your energy away from self-incrimination and blame. Shift your efforts to understanding that what happened was a way to improve your skills and abilities as you move along the path to your success.
• Seek out some guidance from a mentor or a professional you respect. Ask the individual to tell you about a time in the past that involved making a mistake or failing. Discuss how the individual grew from the situation and if it helped lead to the current path that you respect the person for today.

Sometimes when you mess up the worst, you can really clearly see the areas that you need to grow in. The mistake or failure can bring you closer to being the student, the therapist, or the person that you want to be—so much so that you could be glad that you failed.

“I am so glad that it happened,” said Kerri. “It was a gift. I really do see it as a gift.” Kerri feels like that she would’ve never had some of the opportunities she has had in the past 2 years if she’d completed the program her first try.. And most of all she says it made her a better person.

Niccole Rowe has been a practicing COTA for 3 years with experience in acute care, skilled nursing, and long-term acute care. She currently works for Pain Consultants of East Tennessee as part of the Functional Rehabilitation team where occupational therapy is used to help patients manage chronic pain and improve overall function. Niccole also is an adjunct instructor at Roane State Community College, teaching for the same OTA program she graduated from. She holds a BA in Communication from the University of Tennessee at Chattanooga with previous work experience in television news producing, marketing, and as a radio personality.